pfft.

i am again dreaming far far away from this reality.once again it came,but this time i'm very confident that i'm not gonna get it. so i won't really be upset if i failed again.
i've told myself not to get into trouble again,but it just keep coming and it won't stop.life's have not been better after that thing happened and i just wanna let it go and hope it never come back.i was too fast on this "get over it" thing.i should slow down more,but i don't want it to be draggy.

i'm always peeking at him.i can't say how hot he his.he's just too hot for me.and i'm sure i would fail again this time. i should stop it, no i can't i want to talk about him.how gorgeous he is.i should slap myself,i should wake up,i should hurt myself and not thinking deeper into my fantasy.here it is all over again.

Aysh please wake up.

I don't want too.

but u must!
u are a stupid bitch Aysh!

yeah maybe i am.
i don't know.

I have to stop this talking to myself every night before i sleep,i'm like a little kid talking to my imaginary friend.

STOP IT ARRGHHH!